The Lost Interview, Part 4
Do you think the new era of rap is, like, not Thug Life or whatever? Where do you see yourself?
That’s what they want to do. That’s what they want to do because everybody is shell-shocked, and they having trauma. We’ve been having traumatic nights always. I want to get away from it a lot; I tried to get away from it, but you can’t, that’s what they taught me.
The streets didn’t teach me that Thug Life can never die, the world taught me that. I thought I could retire and move on. When I moved on to the so-called “real world.” the “civilized world,” these motha****as is worse than the niggas on the streets! They was telling, I had little girls writing to me, crying, saying, “You got raped in jail, I’m so sorry.” That shit right there is what will fuel the anger that will never die. I had to write letters to a thousand little kids, explaining to them that I will be dead before a motha****a will rape me, and you know that. So, as far as everybody, there is no mercy in my heart, you know what I mean? I’m not out here on no wild shit like I was before. This is not the same Tupac, believe me. I’m just very pissed off. And don’t think ‘cause you see me at an award show smiling or giving away an award, or because I don’t fight at this time, that don’t mean that I ain’t mad. I’m pissed off. And don’t tell me ain’t nothing wrong and we should all be together and woo-woo-woo, ‘cause y’all niggas ain’t getting no money. You ain’t getting no money ‘cause I made it that way.
Do you have groups coming out that you’re producing?
Yup, the Outlawz.
I murdered Thug Life and gave birth to the Outlawz. I murdered Thug Life, them niggas ain’t act right. I murdered all of them, as far as the music business, and I gave birth to the Outlawz, and they all blood relatives. Now, I got a military—not “mob” like Italians—but mob like we’ve been mob-orientated all our lives. **** that shit they’ve been telling me about, because everybody saying because we choose to be organized now that we are emulating Italians? And we should imitate Italians ‘cause they don’t like us? Motha****as got it twisted, you know what I mean? We got organization because we peep game! And it’s not the mob really that we seen, it’s really the government! They the biggest mob. That’s what we study—governments. Just like me, they say, “This guy is Mr. Duplicity, he’s always saying this good shit to the females, then he say ‘ho’ and this, that.” See, that’s where you’re wrong. First, you tell all them niggas; you telling Too $hort, he never say nice shit, and they telling him he’s a horrible person. I say one bad shit on one side, a good shit on the other side, and I’m Mr. Duplicity? What does the world want? They need to sit their politically correct ass down and figure out what they want ‘cause they bullshit.
Do you read a lot?
All the time. I’m really into books.
What’s your favorite title?
Right now, I’m into Mastering the Art of War, The Art of War, I just found all these new books. Thoughts of a General, How to win an Argument Every Time, The Buying of the President. What’s that book I got? The Russian guy?
Stalin, I got that. Christopher Darden’s book. You’ll Never Work Again in Hollywood, whatever that is that they’re talking about, all the people that slept together, I’ve been reading that, a lot of different things, but mostly shit on what built generals and what made countries. I want to read what Clinton reads ‘cause he does the same shit I do, but don’t get in trouble. All his homeboys commit suicide, he get caught with his pants down in the bathroom, and this nigga is still the President! I got women all marching outside my shows, this nigga is the ****in’ President! I’m 24, he 40, what’s his excuse?
Aside from the fame and the money, what do you think you can offer someone in a relationship?
With a woman, you mean?
I believe that… I always discuss this… I feel like I’m one of the old-fashioned type of guys, where as soon as I find me a woman who doesn’t mind the fact that I want to be in charge and that I believe that, just like the yin-and-yang, there’s a masculine and a feminine, I believe in that in a relationship. I believe that most of our problems as black people and as people in general is that we’ve forgotten our roles. The men have forgotten their roles as men; therefore, the women have forgotten their roles, and that’s where we get all this duplicity in lovemaking and duplicity in sexuality, and it’s ‘cause we’ve forgotten our roles and are willing to settle for less. Not that there are not legitimate people who really do like this style, but a lot of it right are like, “Niggas ain’t shit, so I want some pussy,” you know what I mean? And the niggas is being like, “These black *****es ain’t shit,” or “These white *****es ain’t shit.” For me, I can’t do that. I can’t turn my love off for a woman, no matter if they send me to jail and they talk shit, and they really do piss me off, but I still can’t love a man. I still love women, I still get excited when they come in the room and all that. So I feel as though what I can offer is my viewpoint, who I am, my style, my lifestyle, and that I believe in my heart I’m a man’s man. I’ve made myself, I’m a millionaire by my own hands, you know what I mean? I fight for myself. I’ve been fighting for myself. I’m a struggler, a striver. I take care of my family. I take everything you would want, I do it, you know what I mean? It’s just that I’m real. I’m not politically correct, but I’m a man’s man, and I believe in family values.
What type of woman would it take for you to settle down?
A very, very, very strong woman, and one who is more in love with me than I was, because I have to be more in love with her than she is, and that’s what it is. Every time I fall in love with a woman, I don’t fall in love with the woman she is, I fall in love with the woman that she could be. I haven’t found a woman yet that fits up to my standards, and I’m sure that I don’t fit up to anybody’s standards, but I haven’t found one yet. But I’ve found ones that I think that have the potential to be the rawest woman in the world, you know what I mean? I feel like it’s natural for a man, especially being black, to feel like he’s the king, and he’s looking for his queen, and that’s where I’m at right now. You can’t be a king until you’ve made yourself, until you’ve done something, and I’ve accomplished my goals, my goals I set out to become a man. Now I feel that I’m a man now, I set out goals to make me a king; not a king of anybody else, but me. Nobody else is under my rule but me and my kids, you know what I mean? But I made myself into a king, now I need a queen to be happy so I that can be a teacher and a father. I can’t be that until I find a queen, so I’m stuck in limbo.